Never a reasonable group

Yesterday I bought a lottery ticket. Not a scratch off, a bona fide pick your own numbers lottery ticket. I had never bought one before and I wanted to know what it was like. Let me tell you, it's not fun. I felt dirty and ashamed. Though I was only standing at the customer service counter at Family Fare with a lottery ticket in my hand, I felt as though I was creeping around in a back alley looking for "some action". I felt exactly how I think people buying lottery tickets should feel. I was in line with 5 other people who I assumed were looking at me with disgust while they clung to their wallets and their dignity. The truth is, no one in a customer service line is reasonable. Especially at a grocery store. Either the person, the agenda or both are rather embarrassing. Though I felt terrible about myself, the guy in front of me made me feel like a million bucks. He, my friends, happened to be returning an ice cream cake. You heard it here first folks. An ice cream cake. In fact, he was failing at returning an ice cream cake which is much worse. The more the man argued the better I felt. The more twisted the looks on the employees faces were, the happier I became. You know you've become a true elitist when doing something that makes you feel vile can be easily washed away by watching a man with a mullet haggle over day old, soggy, melted dessert. In the end, I didn't win the lottery per se, unless you consider the lesson learned: Don't go to customer service unless there is someone much worse already in line. Words to live by.