Brian Andreas

This is from a painting I bought by a guy named Brian Andreas. We also have 6 of his books. They're really whimsical and inspirational. I highly recommend looking them up. Anyway, the picture is colorful and drawn the way a child would draw but a tad more coherent. There is a large creature sitting on a stool dangling a carrot over a small creature who is reeeeeaaaaaaching out to get it.
"What are the rules? I said & she said, Do exactly what I want whenever I want, make no demands of me whatsoever, & love me forever, no questions asked. & I said, how do you win? & she said, you don't understand. I'm the only one who wins. & then she laughed & clapped her hands. Isn't it a great game? she said."
I find myself reading this over and over again. I've had it for years now so I couldn't even tell you how many times I've read it. It has never once not interested me. Josh thought it fit me to a T when we found it. It may still be true but it's probably not as adorable now that we've been married for a while :)

Never a reasonable group

Yesterday I bought a lottery ticket. Not a scratch off, a bona fide pick your own numbers lottery ticket. I had never bought one before and I wanted to know what it was like. Let me tell you, it's not fun. I felt dirty and ashamed. Though I was only standing at the customer service counter at Family Fare with a lottery ticket in my hand, I felt as though I was creeping around in a back alley looking for "some action". I felt exactly how I think people buying lottery tickets should feel. I was in line with 5 other people who I assumed were looking at me with disgust while they clung to their wallets and their dignity. The truth is, no one in a customer service line is reasonable. Especially at a grocery store. Either the person, the agenda or both are rather embarrassing. Though I felt terrible about myself, the guy in front of me made me feel like a million bucks. He, my friends, happened to be returning an ice cream cake. You heard it here first folks. An ice cream cake. In fact, he was failing at returning an ice cream cake which is much worse. The more the man argued the better I felt. The more twisted the looks on the employees faces were, the happier I became. You know you've become a true elitist when doing something that makes you feel vile can be easily washed away by watching a man with a mullet haggle over day old, soggy, melted dessert. In the end, I didn't win the lottery per se, unless you consider the lesson learned: Don't go to customer service unless there is someone much worse already in line. Words to live by.

Reincarnation

If someone were to ask me right now what I would want to be when I grew up, I would tell them with zero reservations "A ninja. An anime ninja. A boy anime ninja." Since I'm a hopeless adult, I know that this is impossible. Well, I guess there are a few ways this could be achieved, but, it wouldn't really be ME. Besides, I can't draw and I'm not really cool enough to inspire a heart thumping story line. My only option is reincarnation. I don't want to be a writing desk, a kitty cat, a hipster, or even that butterfly that creates all the mischief. I just want to be a bad ass ninja.