"Speedy" checkout

Today I got stuck behind a gentleman in his late 40s early 50s in the self-checkout lane at Family Fare. On a side note: My dad would be disappointed in me for going through the self-checkout lane because I am single-handedly taking food out of the mouth of some unemployed cashier somewhere. Anyway, there I am holding a 36 pack of Always with Wings trying to ignore the celebrity magazines and this man is struggling with the checking out process. Despite the fact that the machine tells you exactly what to do, he takes off his glasses, squints, leans closer to the screen, straightens up, puts his glasses on and continues this sequence several times. To me this seems to be the equivalent of shouting directions to a foreigner. I immediately begin to pout about my misfortune and start looking around at the other lanes searching for an opening. No luck. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a friendly employee wanders over to assist him in placing his item on the belt. When he finally packs up his groceries, I, in a superior fashion of course, begin scanning my glorious invention. I demonstrate with grace and ease how to speedily use a self-checkout lane. As I am pulling the money from my wallet I happen to glance back at the line forming behind me and realize, to my dismay, that everyone is either burning a hole in my head, bouncing their almost purchases in their arms like an infant or checking their watch! I'm pretty sure one woman changed lanes! I couldn't believe it! You just can't please some people.