You'll get half way there before the craving sets in

I woke up this morning a little groggy. I contemplated hitting the snooze but remembered my pledge to lose 40 lbs. by my birthday in September. Instead of loathing myself for making such a commitment, I decided to get up, eat a small something and do some Ashley approved exercises. Note: Running is the only exercise NOT approved by Ashley.
I was feeling really great. I was feeling the burn and working up a sweat. When my timer told me it was time to get ready for work I was a bit let down even. THEN something happened...I got out of the shower, which is always placed in the same room as a giant mirror for no reason, and I realized that I have almost completely lost my chin. I can kind of see it peeking out of what I can only assume is my neck. It is being swallowed more and more everyday. My lack of jaw line is caused by eating but eating is now the only thing that reminds me that I have a jaw. I'm hoping that this realization will spur me toward my goal ever faster. I fear that my morbid curiosity will spur me toward something a little more roundish. In any case, I have 5 months to settle a craving. A craving to be fit and healthy or a craving for chips and chili dogs. I hope I choose healthy...but I really love chips.

Indecision

Me, unshowered and covered in dirt.
Chris, unshowered and also covered in dirt.
Uninterested young McDonald's employee

Scene: McDonald's in Cadillac

Employee: "What can I get for you"
Me: "Can I have a 5 piece chicken nugget please?"
Employee: "We only have 5 piece chicken selects"
Me: "Well......what's your smallest chicken nugget?"
Employee: "It's 4 pieces"
Me: "Ok..........give me a 10 piece chicken nugget."

Mary Kay and Twilight

I half expected her to shout "I don't like orange, I don't like orange!" as I pulled the highlighter out of my desk. I'm convinced that some people try to cover up crazy with makeup and book clubs. They think we can't tell they're a little "off". It's like that Bonnie Raitt song but even creepier. They stand just a little too close, stare just a little too long, pull a knife on you over a nice spaghetti dinner. There is always the possibility that they don't have a clinical problem. They could just be from Podunkville and have REALLY bad social skills. I've seen many an Italian dinner end in a brawl. To really make a fair and accurate distinction, more time and attention would have to be paid. However, it isn't worth life and limb to do so.
Whether podunk or crazy, you can't hide it. We can tell. We can see it as clearly as the bright red lipstick covering the pages of your new Oprah approved book.

Paraben free

This morning I was thinking so intensely about testing on animals and what that would entail that I used body soap as shampoo. I don't know how I did it really, I already had shampoo in my hair. I don't understand what paraben free means and I can't help but think that animals enjoy being sudsed up. Luckily, I'm told, my body soap is officially paraben free, biodegradable, packaged in 100% recyclable packaging AND not tested on animals. I bought it for 2 reasons: I'm a sucker for packaging and I like the smell of grapefruit. Also, they give an annual donation of $100,000 to The World Wildlife Fund. Hopefully they are using the money wisely. Perhaps they are giving the animals who missed out on this product a bath.